you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
