somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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