strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize