we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
