Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
