We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
