i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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