grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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