I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
