he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
