He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Randomize
