They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize