Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
