she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
