dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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