dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
