drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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