Your dad touched me again.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just had sex on a roof
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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