Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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