ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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