You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
