Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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