ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
