Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
