Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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