Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
