You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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