Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
