i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
