sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
