I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
