why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
