Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
