3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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