Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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