Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize