Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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