I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
