im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
