oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
