Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
