Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize