do herpes really smell.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dear god my vagina.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
