why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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