so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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