Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
