Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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