i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
