i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
