I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
