Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
