She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He? As in you personified your dick?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
