Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
