this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
