I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
