Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
