If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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