girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
