found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Randomize
